ace: WRITING LOGICAL DEVELOPMENT ANALYSIS

ace雅思专家

回顾题目：

20070519（G）：Nowadays many young people do not like their majors. Therefore some people say students studying majors that they don’t like is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

译文：现在很多年轻人不喜欢他们的专业。因此有些人说，学生学习不喜欢的专业是浪费时间。问你同意不同意。

习文一：
There is a hot debate about whether it is wasting time for students to study disliked majors. While it may be caused by pressure due to a variety of environmental factors, distinctive difference between reality and imagination could also lead to disgusting feeling towards the majors after selection. However, I strongly believe that it is not considered as wasting time in terms of personal quality and career prospect.
关于学生学习不喜欢的专业是否浪费时间的问题，仍然在激烈地讨论中。究其原因，这一方面是因为学生受各种环境因素的压力导致不喜欢专业，另一方面则是学生在选择专业后发现与当初的想象相差很大引起的反感。但我强烈认为学习不喜欢的专业不是在浪费时间，并从两点来阐述：个人素质和就业前景。

As to individual quality, for most students, it is thought as a vague notion ranging extensively from either positive or negative academic performance, virtue standard to personality. In fact, while choosing the majors not preferable, some may gradually lose passion of striving for excellence due to mismatch of interest, others, however, could still be persistent with ‘boring and tedious’ curricula and focus on academic achievements. Therefore, it is readily defined as either a waste of time or a solid foundation for future, respectively.
提到个人素质，相信大多数人都没有一个明确的概念，这是由于它包含的范围很广，不仅有学习和好坏，品德的高低，它还是个人性格的体现。因此，在学生学习不喜欢的专业时，有些人会因为它与自己的兴趣不符而开始失去努力的热情，而有些人则坏着坚韧不拔的意志，即使专业再枯燥，课程再乏味，他们都能专心致志，完成学业。对于那些已经失去信心的学生来说，无疑是浪费时间，但对于有所收获的学生来说，则是为将来打下坚实的基础。

There is growing emphasis on employment after graduation in the social context.  That is, major is not only related with personal preference, but with future career development. On the other hand, most companies require specifically about the qualities of job applicants. Thus, it could be predictable about whether self-centered candidates without persistence in former study are successful in competition or not, compared with others with fighting spirit and full potentials in the near future.
从现代社会的发展来看，越来越多的人将注意力转移到就业这方面来了。就此而言，专业已不仅仅与个人兴趣有关，更重要的是关系着个人未来的发展。再者说，无论哪个公司，都有对人才的需求，况且选择求职者的主要依据也是个人素质。因此，一个面对不喜欢的专业就退缩的人，一个非要以自我为中心的人，是否会找到工作已有定论。相反地，一个对待事情认真的人，一个顽强拼搏的人，会在不远的将来展示出他的才华。

To conclude, it is closely interrelated between career opportunities and personal qualities which determine the process of major selection. Furthermore, time is not wasted in the sense of personality polishing instead; it would be saved dramatically as pursuing academic goal even if the chosen major may not be favorite subject.
最后，我做出这样的总结：就业是与个人素质密不可分的，学生在进行专业课程学习的同时，应加强对自己的素质的提升，因为这不仅没有浪费时间，对于那些换成自己喜欢的专业仍不努力学生而言，他们是在节约时间。

点评：
四段式结构，简单扼要，符合雅思高分要求
中心思想突出（宏观）
采用了因素是，涉及个人素质和就业前景两大要素
在首段里可以清晰看到与关键因素有关的中心句和词
段落中心明显（微观）
第2，3段分别采用利弊式分析两大因素的正反面
并围绕利弊阐述随之产生的不同后果，因果关系脉络清晰
结尾段虽然总结了两大因素间的依存关系，但没有很好地扣题
“就业是与个人素质密不可分的”词句应改成“专业选择与就业和个人素质密不可分”。

后面的扩展句有些逻辑问题，“因为这不仅没有浪费时间，对于那些换成自己喜欢的专业仍不努力的学生而言，他们是在节约时间“

扩展中没有涉及到就业问题

◆    末段修改后如下
     最后，我做出这样的总结：专业的选择，与就业和个人素质密不可分。应认识到培养优良的品德，诸如毅力和坚韧，是成功完成学业和顺利就业的最根本的条件。可见，具备综合素质的人才是社会最需要的。

◆    最后评分：
从思路角度评分，该烤鸭已进入6分水平。接下来就要看它的英语词的功力了。

   






习文二
     Nowadays, many students choose majors which are not their favorite due to a variety of reasons. Therefore, it is commonly observed that some can not focus on lectures or even withdraw from the program in halfway. Personally, I think such a choice not only contributes to financial drain, but time wasted.
当今社会，很多学生由于种种原因，在选专业时，选择了自己并不喜欢的。所以上课逃课，不认真听讲，半路踹学。这种情况在高校经常发生。我个人认为，选择一个自己不喜欢的专业，不仅浪费了金钱，还浪费了时间。我将要在这篇作文里论述我的观点。

In the first place, those forced to study disliked subjects would lose concentration on learning. It is reported that 68% of students admitted skipping classes, in which 59% of them are not interested. In addition, most of skippers are addictive to online gaming and chatting for killing time as a result of feeling bored. So, few people go over their textbooks or prepare for the next lecture. If it continues this way, valuable resources would be wasted in sense of finance or time.
首先，那些被迫选择自己不喜欢专业的学生会无心学习。调查表明，68%的学生承认自己逃过课。其中，又有59%的学生逃课是因为他们并不喜欢所学的课。此外，因为不喜欢所学专业，很多大学生都会觉得上学无聊，他们大多数都会打网络游戏或者网上聊天来消遣，平时几乎不会复习，预习。长此以往，不仅什么知识也没学到，还浪费了宝贵的时间。

Furthermore, their career could be seriously and fundamentally affected. It is truly challenging for graduates to land a plum job. Some are mentally struggling with employment after graduation simply because of lacking skills and competence. Meanwhile, they are standing in the cross-section of pursing further education and involving in working place, in which may be highly competitive. Moreover, momentum may be worn for students who eventually accomplished academic study but with little enthusiasm and interest, which is harmful to future success.
再者，他们的前途会受到严重的影响。很多这类的大学生在毕业后很难找到理想的工作。他们在毕业后会有思想矛盾。既希望从事自己感兴趣的事业（但是他们没有基础，无法胜任），又希望从事自己所学的专业（但是他们并不喜欢，怕工作不开心，而且在大学里也没有学到知识）。而且，那些从事自己所学专业但并不热爱此专业的学生，工作时会没有斗志，这样也不利于他们将来的成功。

To sum up, I disagree with the opinion of choosing disliked majors for a variety of reasons. Only with personal interest could academic success be achieved. In other words, it is the very foundation of great accomplishment.
综上所述，我个人不赞同选择自己不喜欢的专业。因为它会带来很多不好的方面。只有对自己的专业有兴趣，才可以学好这个专业。兴趣是成功的基础。

点评
本文于习文一立场相反，也是四段式结构，简明扼要，符合雅思高分要求
虽然涉及学习兴趣和就业前景两大因素，但是没有在首段中心句中出现，不够显著，末段也仅仅提到兴趣二字，实为美中不足。
第2，3段逻辑扩展比较清晰，但只论述了常见的负面结果，没有像习文一种举出反例论证。因此缺乏一定的完整性，没有做到全面论述。
第2段中以数据为例，貌似很有说服力，但是缺乏事实根据，不符合要求。
第3段中以括号来引出转折句，多此一举。也会被扣分。

最后评分：
从思路角度评价，该烤鸭介于5分和6分水平之间（5.5）。如果她的词句使用造诣较高，有可能进入6分档，但总体而言几率不大。