LZ: Kiasu jokes

year2k

Story 1
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.
So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. You must act like gentlemen. They jumped.
To the Americans he said, You can be heroes. They complied.
To the Germans he said, It's the rule. They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said, It's the consensus. They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: Free life jackets for those who jumped.

Story 2
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, Wah low!!!, how you know one? The first Ah Lian reply smugly, Easy lah.. G for Gero mah...

Story 3
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah! Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one.